Those Nights
by Nex Silentium
Summary: This is a song-fic about me and my best friend. Our relationship and stuff and how we were always there for each other. Dedicated to him. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


Those Nights

**This is a song fic about my best friend and me. It kinda explains how much we've grown together through the years. No matter what happened, or will happen, we've always made it through. The song is Those Nights by Skillet; it's one of our many theme songs and EVERYTHING that's written in here is 100% true. Except for the names and stuff of course, those will be different. I'll be Kacy. Everyone else… well who cares, you'll figure it out, it won't be that hard. **

**The lyrics will be in **_**italics**_** and under them will be an excerpt from my life that goes with it, in no particular order. **

**I hope you enjoy. I don't own the song… apparently I'm supposed to say that. First person POV. First person being me, of course. **

I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all

_It was better than going mad_

We'd always laugh at the stupidest things. We'd just get bored and pick out particular things/things-we-thought-were-weird that we saw in people and joke around about that, trying to mimic them, just because. We'd schedule arguments; bicker about how tall our dads were compared to the others' or something like that. It was kind of stupid, now that we look back at it. But it did make us smile.

"Kacy, there is no _way_ Steph's butt got that big!" Toby told me. But I nodded.

"So way, man. It grew from the size of a lemon to the size of a watermelon in two months. It looks like this…" I stand up and shove my hands into my back pockets and walk around my room with my nose in the air and my hands pulling the butt of my pants out. Toby laughed out loud.

"I never thought that was possible!" he said, wiping tears from his eyes. I sat down on the chair across the room.

"With Steph, _anything _is possible," I retorted. He shook his head.

"No, I meant that I never thought it was possible for you to act like Steph and actually _succeed_." I threw my stapler (it was the first and closest thing I sat my hand down on) at him and he dodged it, rolling around on my bed in a laughing fit.

"I don't know if _I_ should be insulted or if _she_ should be." I shook my head.

From trying to solve all the problems we're going through  
Forget 'em all.

"Are you out of your mind, Kacy? What were you thinking?" Toby shouted at me. I shook my head.

"I don't know Toby, I just-"

"You just what? Just thought that 'Oh, my life sucks, so why don't I just run away from home into the streets so I don't have to live with my stupid aunt?' Huh? Is that it?" he interrupted.

"Toby listen to me-"

"No Kacy, you listen to me! Don't you realize you could've gotten yourself killed? That guy's still _out there_!"

"I can take care of myself!" I defended. "In case you've forgotten my knife is always with me and I ain't got amnesia! I haven't forgotten my training!" I screamed at him.

"Then where was it when you needed it the most?" Toby protested. I got in his face.

"How the hell was I supposed to know he was gonna come barging in my house and killing my parents, then takin' me, huh? You tell me!" I shouted.

"God!" he said, exasperated. Toby ran his hands through his hair, turned in a circle and looked back at me. "You're so…"

"So what?" I challenged.

"Stupid!" he said. "You can't just go wandering around the streets in the middle of the night alone, especially not around here! And not now either, you know he's gonna keep comin' after you, Kacy! Why can't you realize that?"

"What, do you think I can't see that? I know the risks-"

"Then why take the chance Kacy? Have you ever thought about what I'd do-what would happen to _me_ if something happened to _you_? If he came back and took you away from me again, and this time for _good_? Think about your family, your-"

"What family, Toby? Thanks to him I've no one left!" I argued, trying to hold back the tears. Toby let out a shout of frustration and anger.

"What do you mean you have no one left? Can't you see what you've got right in front of you?" he exclaimed.

"What are you saying? That I've-"

"You have _me, _Kacy!"

Cause on these nights we would stand and never fall  
Together we faced it all

"Toby, just forget about it. I'm sure it's nothing," I said calmly as he had his head in his hands and elbows propped on his knees, sitting on my bed in my room. I sat down next to him.

"No Kace, they were really upset. You wouldn't believe what they were saying. They didn't even notice me leaving," Toby muttered, sounding miserable. I made a face and shook my head.

"I'm sure they'll be alright soon. They always have, remember?" I assured him. He sighed.

"You're probably right." He let his hands fall between his knees and looked up at me. "Do you think it'll be okay if I stay here tonight?" he asked me hopefully. I nodded.

"Of course you can."

He talked to his parents about it the next day. They were all right. Just like I said they would be.

Remember when we'd  
Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by a TV light.

I was sleeping over at his house for his party. He had tons of other friends, but I was the only one he wanted to spend the night for his birthday. We were watching Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It had just come out on DVD.

But we weren't really watching the movie. We were just talking about random stuff… at three in the morning.

"I still can't believe Ms. Gallen is getting married. _Again_," Toby said averting his eyes from the TV screen to look at me. I laughed.

"What's with the tone when you say 'again'?" I smiled.

"It's the third time! Seriously Kace, something has got to be wrong with redheads!" he replied. I looked at him in surprise.

"That is such a generalization!" I argued. He looked at me and gave me that look.

"Then what about Steph?" I paused.

"That is an excellent point." We laughed and looked back at the TV screen just as the giant ants were crawling around everywhere. "Oh my God, those ants are huge…" I pointed out monotonously.

_Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive._

I had just moved to California with my Aunt Nellie. At the time my life… just sucked. The kids I met were all preppy jerks with no sense of humility or compassion whatsoever. I was talking to Toby via web cam online. I was… distraught… depressed. Alone.

"Toby, I don't think I can do this anymore," I muttered and shook my head. "I wake up every night… scared to death and-"

"Kace…" Toby stops me. I looked up at him. "I-I wish I could be there… I really do." I look down at my scarred palms… I hoped and prayed to God Toby would never see them. The pocketknife was lying on my desk next to the laptop. It belongs… belonged to my father. I stared at it.

"I can't live like this anymore Toby… I'm so sorry but…" I picked up the knife and cradled it in my hands, but Toby couldn't see it. "I can't do this by myself…"

"Kace… Kace look at me." I stared at the computer screen into his eyes. "You aren't by yourself. You've got me," Toby assured her.

"Then where are you?" I asked. Toby looked down and shook his head.

"Don't you remember?" Toby questioned. I continued to stare at him. He looked back up. When I didn't answer him, he continued. "Remember when you first moved here in the third grade? And everyone who had been your friend abandoned you when Al Qaida attacked the Twin Towers because they thought you were a terrorist? But I stayed?" I nodded. "You asked me… you asked me why I stayed. Do you remember what I said?" I thought back to five years ago (at the time).

"You said that you didn't believe them because I was Hispanic, not Arabic," I responded. Toby shook his head.

"No, the other thing." I thought for a second. "I told you I'd stick by you, no matter what everyone said or thought about you. Because I told you when I met you, you were my best friend. Did you think that I was joking?" Toby asked me. I looked down at the knife and squeezed it in my hand. I squeezed my eyes shut and a tear fell from my eyes and landed on the hilt. "Kacy –"

"Don't call me that." Toby just smiled.

"See? You're still in there somewhere!" he said. I smiled. "Kace, you'll never be alone. You know I'm never more than a phone call away." He smiled. "We can watch the same movie at the same time and talk through it all like we always do." I laughed.

"And laugh at Sandra Bullock in _Miss Congeniality_." I said.

"Exactly." I looked back down at my hands, and then loosened my grasp. I set the blade gently back on the desk. Toby looked at me, but didn't say anything. He knew not to ask me.

"So…" I sighed. Toby looked at me. "_Spiderman 3_ or _At World's End_?"

We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't wanna go home to another fight.

"You didn't hear them, Kace, I've never heard them fight like that before. This time it's different… " Toby told me. We were sitting outside on my front porch swing. The radio was softly playing my father's favorite radio station.

"Toby, you know how they are. Let 'em sleep on it, let 'em think it through. They'll be fine tomorrow."

"You don't know that! You didn't hear them shouting at each other!" he argued. "They were furious! The stuff they said… It's bad Kace… really bad." He put his head in his hands and sighed. I put my hand on his knee and he placed his hand over mine. Suddenly, we heard an upbeat song and Dad came out and looked at us.

"Guys get in here! It's Elvis!" he shouted excitedly and ran back inside. I smiled at Toby and grabbed his hand and we ran inside. Dad and Mom were dancing in the living room, Dad turning up the music. I looked at Toby and he grinned, dancing along with them. We all sang along.

"The warden threw a party in the county jail! The prison band was there and they began to wail!"

_Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive_

I started licking at the duct tape that was over my mouth. I have to get out of here! I thought. When I got the one side of it off I rubbed the rest off on the bed. Using my mouth I started pulling at the rope that bound my hands to the headboard. Once those were loose I ripped the duct tape away from my eyes and untied my feet. I then looked around for something, anything, to use as a weapon in case I ran into… him.

I grabbed a pair of scissors off of the nightstand next to me and grabbed my pants off the floor and threw them on. I was about to grab my shirt when someone walked in. I froze and he stopped and threw his hands over his face, but I had already glanced at his face. The only thing I remembered about him was his eyes.

"Don't look at me!" he shouted. He ran out of the room, and I ran after him. I kind of felt stupid, but it was the only way out, and I was gonna take it.

Scissors in my hands, I looked around for the front door. When I saw it, I darted for it but he turned the corner and I ran into him. He yelped and we both fell to the floor. I quickly got up and started to run, but he grabbed my feet and stopped me, making me fall to the floor and drop the scissors, my only weapon.

Right then I felt like giving up… but something stopped me.

I had to see Toby again. I wanted to stay up late watching movies with him, laughing about something Steph said or did, comforting him when his parents fought…

I just had to see his face one last time.

The rest of the fight was a blur. Then I was out the door into the freezing December air and through a field.

A day later I woke up in a hospital room, screaming… and Toby was there …

_I remember when we used to drive anywhere but here  
As long as we'd forget our lives.  
_

I was driving my granddad's old Ford Ranger after Nellie came home drunk. I didn't really know where I was going. I didn't even care. Just as long as it was far away from Nellie and her dumb fiancé. I just wanted to drive as far as I could. Go far away, and never look back. Leave my old life behind. I just wanted to get away from this crazy city while I still had the chance.

But I couldn't leave Toby. Not again.

I stop at the stoplight. Looking around I realized I was in the middle of nowhere. But I heard the train in the distance. Then I knew where I was. I remembered those nights my dad used to drive me down here and we'd stop at this same exact light.

"I used to race my friends around here when I was still in high school," he'd say to me. "Way down there where the train tracks are? They're just a little under half a mile from here. The tracks would be the finish line." And when the light would turn green, he'd speed all the way down there while I was whooping and hollering with excitement, my hands thrown up in the air.

I was too lost in my thoughts to realize someone had pulled up next to me. I immediately knew who it was. I didn't even have to look. I only told one other person about this spot and what it meant to me. I heard the window roll down.

"I was driving up to your house and saw you leaving. Figured I'd follow you to make sure you didn't do anything stupid," Toby told me. I didn't look at him. Just looked at the light.

"What makes you think I would?" I asked him. He smiled and looked back at the road. He revved his engine, and laughed when mine remained silent. My truck was way too old for that kind of thing. I didn't even think it could handle speeding down the road for half a mile.

The light turned green.

_We were so young and confused that we didn't know  
To laugh or cry_

I remember when I had first moved here to the city. All the way from Puerto Rico, to California, Texas, then… here. It was August 19, 2001. I just turned eight years old a month before. But it wasn't what happened when I first got there. It was what happened after.

I had made tons of friends. Apparently it was the new popular thing to be friends with a kid who was from another country and could speak a different language. It was a little under a month later, on September 11, 2001, when I became the top of the "she's a terrorist" list. I was in Ms. Cauwell's third grade class when the announcement came on to stop what we were doing and turn on the TV's. We all stopped and stared at the two towers crashing down. My teacher burst into tears… but we didn't really know what to do. Not one of us cried. We just kind of… watched.

When the reporters said it was a terrorist attack from the group Al Qaida, all the kids realized my skin was the same color of Osama Bin Laden's. They all thought my family was part of the terrorist cell that killed all those people and I was instantly pushed out of everyone's friend circle.

Except for Toby's.

_Those nights were ours  
They will live and never die  
Together we'd stand forever._

Toby and I were on the playground during summer vacation. Him and I got tons of the other kids involved in a huge game of hide-and-seek tag. There were tons of trees around the area and a whole lot of monkey bars and available places to hide. Toby was "it".

"Wait a second, where y'all goin'? I didn't say go!" Toby shouted as everyone had a false start. We all groaned in exasperation and touched the tree with one hand and waited for him to cover his eyes and lean his head against the tree. "Alright ready?"

"_Yes!_" we all shouted. There was a pause.

"Wait for it…" he said. We all groaned.

"Come on Toby, my clothes are goin' out of style!" this kid named Jason, everyone called him Jerky because he loves beef jerky, said. I snorted and turned around to look at him; he was right behind me.

"They already are, Jerky!" I retorted. He gave me a look.

"Shut up!"

"_Go_!" Toby shouted and we all sprinted around various places in the park. Jerky and I ran to a tree and started to climb up to it. Jerky is one of those… "big" kids, so he isn't very good at climbing trees, so I started to climb first. I was already halfway up when Jerky was on the second branch.

"Come on Jerky, hurry up!" I beckoned as I saw Toby start to turn around.

"I'm trying, Kace!" he said.

"Try harder! I don't wanna get tagged because you're too slow, man!" I said. Just then I heard Toby's voice carry over to the trees.

"Ready or not, here I come!" he said.

"Jerky, hurry!" I whispered hoarsely as Toby started running towards us. Jerky hoisted himself up to the fifth branch. "You need to quit eating so much! See where it leads to?"

"Shut up!" he said. Toby was practically here.

"It's too late, he's here. You're gone man. GONE," I said. Jerky was about a quarter of the way up the tree and Toby started to climb up.

"I see you, Jerky!" Toby shouted.

"Come on, Jerky, come on!" I egged him on. I jumped from the tree and landed on my back and ran away. "Run for your life Jerky! _Run_!"

"AHHH!" Jerky screamed as he fell from the tree and Toby followed suit. Before Jerky had a chance to get away Toby tagged him.

"You're it!" he shouted. Jerky pouted.

"Ah man, I'm always the first one out…" Jerky whined.

"Then quit eatin' so much, bro. You'll get faster once you lose all that jiggle," Toby replied and poked him in the stomach. Jerky slapped his hand away and walked towards the "counting" tree and shouted, "You can come out now, I'm it!"

I stopped and let Toby catch up to me and we jogged to the tree. "Why didn't you come after me?" I asked.

"Cause, you're too fast for me, Kace. I can chase you, but I'll die tryin'." He said, as a matter of fact. We touched the tree and waited for Jerky to say go.

"_Go_!" we all ran. Then we heard Jerky shouting. "Wait, what do I count to?" he shouted. Toby turned around and cupped his hands around his mouth.

"FOREVER!" he replied.

_Remember when we'd  
Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by a TV light._

It was my papa's favorite cartoon movie. I was only nine. I was such a baby when it comes to scary movies. I still am.

We were watching Tim Burton's _Nightmare Before Christmas_. I went the whole movie with my eyes wide and afraid, clutching the pillow to my chest. Afterwards I put on my brave face and said the movie was awesome.

"Oh great, now she's going to follow in your footsteps, Alex," my mother complained mockingly. "We're going to have to get to work so I can have a… what is it… a mini-my?" My father laughed.

"Mini-_me_, Marie," he corrected. Then we went to bed. Mama read her book of Rilke poems to me to help me fall asleep. I fell asleep easily and she tucked me in and kissed my head lovingly.

I woke up in the middle of the night and I was so afraid. I turned on my lights and was about to go crawl in bed with Mama and sleep, but I didn't want them to think I was a wimp, like all the other kids at school did. But Toby didn't think I was a wimp.

When my parents woke up the next morning and found me missing, they panicked. They called everyone they knew to look out for me, they called the police and told them I was missing. Then they called Toby's mom and dad. When his mom came up to his room to wake him up and tell him what happened and to help them look for me, they found us, curled up on the two beanbags in front of the TV screen asleep. We were watching Elmo.

I had climbed out my window and ran the two blocks down to his house and crawled in through his bedroom window. He said that he didn't think I was a wimp and let me stay there that night. We were watching cartoons and talking all night.

_Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive_

I woke up and found my self on the floor. I didn't remember anything. The only thing I remembered was thinking of Toby. I lifted my head and looked around. I was surrounded by blood. Was it mine? I didn't know. I rested my head on my arm again and saw little flashes of… something. I remember the screech of tires and those eyes…

His eyes.

I propped myself up on my elbow and looked around. I saw my cell phone, open and covered in blood, just out of reach of where my hand had been. I lifted my left hand up to the sink to pull myself up and felt a sharp throbbing sensation shoot down my arm.

"Ah!" I cried and cradled my wrist to my chest. I looked back at the phone and moved towards it. I picked up and pressed the center button. My screen came back on and I saw two numbers punched in. A nine and a one.

I tried to call 911? I shut my phone and set my elbow on the tub to pull myself up. When I sat down on the edge of the tub, I looked up and found my self face to face with…

Me.

I looked in the mirror, astonished. My face was covered in blood and there was a gaping hole in the side of my head. I brought my hand up to it and gently grazed my fingers against it. It wasn't bleeding anymore. How much blood did I lose? How can I still be alive? I thought. I looked down at my clothes and I was still wearing my white tank top and black cargo pants and converse that I had been wearing the last time I was at the garage on Wednesday. They were drenched in blood. Is it still Wednesday? I felt something in my upper right arm, just under my shoulder and looked at it. I pulled out a shard of glass and stared at it.

What the hell happened to me?

Where was Nellie? Why didn't she know I was in here, bloody and probably half dead?

I tucked my phone in my pocket and started to walk towards the door, but I fell on the floor. The world was spinning around me. I rested a hand on my head and felt a small drip of blood start cascading down my face. Very small. Probably 'cause I don't have much left. I thought glumly.

I tried again. I grabbed the towel rack on the back of my door and forced myself up. I got out of the bathroom and felt my way to the staircase. I looked at the blood trail on the side of the wall and on the front door. _It didn't happen here…_ I realized. I squeezed my eyes shut and placed a hand on my head.

The only one…

_Loose ends…_

_Can save you…_

Those words echoed around in my head. I knew that voice. Just like that it was gone. Like it had never been there. I couldn't think of it once it was gone, no matter how hard I tried.

I opened my eyes and started to find my way down the stairs, doing my best not to stumble down them. A while later I found myself at the bottom of the steps and trying to walk into the living room. I shouted for Nellie. Or tried to anyway. My voice came out as a hoarse grumble, like I had strep throat or something. I tried again.

"N-Nellie." I said, a little louder. One last time. "Nellie!" My voice broke at the last syllable. I waited for a few seconds and gave up. I made my way to the couch and sat down on the edge.

Toby. I had to call Toby. I started to dig my phone out of my pocket and noticed I had a missed call from him. I started to call him back just as it started ringing. I looked at the caller ID. Tino, it said. I pressed send and put it to my ear.

"Y-Yeah?" I managed. I cleared my throat just as Tino answered.

"Hey Kace, what's up? You sound all sick or somethin'." He said. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"What?" I said, clearer this time.

"Where are you, girl? We've been waiting at the airport for half an hour!" he said.

"Airport?" Then I remembered we were taking a huge trip to Tennessee for Spring Break. Apparently Tino said that they had a huge scene goin' on down there. "No T, our flight isn't until Friday…" I mumbled.

"Today's Friday Kace," he said and laughed. I gasped.

"It's already Friday?" Last thing I remembered was leaving the garage in my Chevelle on Wednesday and a knocked over toolbox. I let my hand slowly go down. "If it's Friday… then what happened to Thursday?" I mumbled to myself.

"Kace?" I heard Tino say. "Kace are you there?"

I was about to give up… let myself go. It hurt so bad, my head was throbbing…

But I needed to see Toby. He'll explain it all. He'll know what happened…

Then we can go back to the way it was before all this happened.

The time before… he… came back.

_We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't wanna go home to another fight.  
Through all the hard times in my life.  
Those nights kept me alive. _

I drove away. Johnny and Tino were arguing about… what Johnny did the other night. I told them I was gonna test-drive my Chevelle and when they looked over at me, Johnny knocked over my toolbox. He started picking it up and Tino continued yelling at him. I was gonna get in the middle of it, but it wasn't my place.

If I had chosen to get involved, I probably wouldn't have crashed.

If I had chosen to get involved, I probably wouldn't have gotten amnesia and forgotten everything.

If I had chosen to get involved, I probably would've gotten to spend my spring break like a normal person.

If I had chosen to get involved, I wouldn't have remembered everything in the middle of class and flipped out in front of God and everyone.

If I had chosen to get involved, I probably would've gotten the chance to finally put all the pieces together and catch him, instead of him catching me.

But I just drove away.

I turned down the radio and called Toby. He was already in Tennessee. He was the only one who didn't work at the garage, so he had time to get there when we didn't. He was gonna book the hotel and get everything ready for us to get there, so we could just get there and relax.

"They'll be fine by Friday Kace, don't worry about it. Johnny just did something stupid again, T will get over it, he always does," Toby assured me. I shook my head.

"But I still can't shake that feeling that something is gonna go wrong Toby. I just… I just know it."

"Don't worry about it. It'll be gone once you get home." I sighed.

"I guess you're right…" I said.

"Aren't I always?" he quipped. I smiled. "Just go home and get some sleep. I'll call you tomorrow, alright?" he said. I nodded.

"Alright. Night Toby."

"Night Kace." I hung up and turned the radio up to full blast.

I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried.  
But I'm still caged inside.  
Somebody get me through this nightmare  
I can't control myself.

I bobbed my head slightly to the music and sped up a little. I wanted to get home as fast as I could. The feeling was getting stronger.

So what if you can see  
The darkest side of me  
No one can ever change this animal I have become.

I barely had time to see the swerving headlights in my rearview mirror. All I heard were the screeching of tires and when I looked up I felt the car clip the left side of my bumper.

All I remembered was thinking, _He wasn't right…_

_Those nights belong to us  
There's nothing wrong with us.  
Those nights belong to us. _

Toby and I were laying in his bed watching NCIS. It was an old episode. The newest one was last week. But I wasn't really watching it. I was too busy thinking about everything that's been going on. I just remembered everything that day during class. I had been sleeping… again.

They found my car today, too. It was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of the road. They found the bullet that was supposed to be in my head. It must have fallen out when I got out of my car to go back home to look for help. He missed; he shot me in the head, but it only skimmed my skull. When he had held the gun to my head I turned my head to get a closer look at his face just before he pulled the trigger.

It was Brian.

I snuggled closer to Toby and he put his arm around my shoulders. I laid my head down on his shoulder.

"Will all this ever end?" I asked him quietly. He pulled me closer.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," he replied softly. I drew in a deep breath.

"Everything." He sighed. "When will it all just… stop?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Kace, I honestly don't know." I thought for a few minutes as we continued to watch TV.

"Nellie said it was all my fault," I told him. Toby looked down at me.

"What?" he asked, shocked. "What are you talking about?" I licked my lips, choosing my words carefully. This was… a really touchy subject. And Toby is really sensitive to what people (including me) say about it. Actually, he's just really sensitive in general.

"Nellie said that it's all my fault… that, um…" Toby waited for me to finish. "That if I hadn't just sat there and watched like some moron, then none of this would've happened."

"And you believe her?" he asked defensively. I scoffed in annoyance and sat up to look at him.

"Do you think I'm an idiot, Toby?" I spat back. I looked down and shook my head, gathering my thoughts. "But honestly?" I said quietly. Toby's head shot up to look me in the eyes, only to find I was looking at my hands. What she said was true, period. You can't avoid the facts; facts are facts unless you're seriously insane. But what Toby didn't know was that I wasn't really thinking about what Nellie said.

I was thinking about my scars as I stared at them. If Nellie was right… then I wouldn't have these… badges of hopelessness and pain. Depression. Dishonor. All I could think of was how disappointed my father would be that I didn't fight.

"Honestly Toby, I… I think I do," I muttered. Then Toby went into one of his rants that went on about how "I shouldn't listen to her" and that "It made me who I am today" and sensitive stuff like that. He's the deep one between us. He's the one who looks in between the lines and goes to places no one else really has the guts to go to in a conversation.

"Kace… It doesn't matter what happened, or what you did or didn't do, or even how it ended. All that matters is that you got away. You made it through," he explained. I shook my head.

"Yeah, only to end up like this," I retorted, lifting my hands to make a point. "The only thing that escaping did for me was cause me even more humiliation and torture."

"Kace, what are you talkin' about?" he questioned. I turned to face him.

"Like you don't know!" I exclaimed, standing up. "Like you didn't know how everyone was looking at me and talking about me once I came back here! They didn't see me when I escaped and once I got back they started the rumors back up again. 'Oh look that girl is back!' 'Remember what happened to her?' Face it, Tobias; I'm just what they say I am. A slut." I cried.

"Since when did you start listening to what other people say?" he remarked. I spun around to face him.

"Since people actually started to make sense! Since people actually started to get things right!" I answered him. Toby stood up and walked toward me.

"Kacy, only _you_ know the truth, it doesn't matter what people think of you!" he exclaimed. I felt tears slide down my face and I looked up at him.

"What if that's what I think about me, Toby?" I muttered. He looked back at me and after a short pause, he spoke back up.

"You wanna know what I think?" he whispered to me, wiping a tear away with his thumb.

"I thought it didn't matter," I taunted. He chuckled.

"Do you wanna know what I think, Kacy?" he asked again. His blue eyes bored into my hazel ones.

"What do you think…Tobias?" I replied. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. I froze. When he broke away he looked back into my eyes, not dropping his hands.

"I think… that there's nothing wrong with you. To me…" He kissed me lightly on the lips again. "…you're perfect."

_I remember when we used to laugh  
And now I wish those nights would last…_

Toby and I walked up to the airport security. This would be the last time we saw each other… for a long time. I was moving back to California with my Aunt Nellie. She's my only living relative in the States. The rest of my family was down in Puerto Rico. It was either this or Puerto Rico… so I didn't have much decision-making going on.

We stopped in front of the gates. Toby's parent's and his baby sister had stopped following a few minutes back, giving us a chance to say goodbye to each other.

"Well, this is as far as I can go," Toby told me, but I already knew his limits in the airport. This was goodbye. I sighed. "Kace, don't be sad, it's only for a while."

"How can I not be sad, Toby? I've lost everything I've ever worked for, everything I've ever cared about. Now I'm just leaving it all here? Haven't I lost enough already?" I argued. Toby didn't hesitate enveloping me in a tight hug. I hugged him back and buried my face into the crook of his neck. He rubbed my back.

"Kace, you haven't lost me. I'm always gonna be here for you, you know that right?" I asked. I nodded. "I'm just a phone call or an email away." I let go of him and took a deep breath, trying to encourage myself to walk to the gates all alone.

"We moved around so much, my mom had always said living here might not last… I didn't know she'd be right under these circumstances," I grumbled.

"Yeah… but you'll last, we both will. You're strong, Cowgirl, you can do it." I blushed at my childhood nickname, turning around to make sure no one I knew had heard that. Toby just laughed. He started calling me that when I was eight. I had just moved here from Texas and thought I was a redneck, so I wore my cowboy hat everywhere. I grew out of that when I was about nine and the school board made "no hats" a part of the dumb dress code, even for nine-year-olds.

"Yeah that's um… embarrassing," I teased, smiling. Toby just laughed. I looked over at the gate one last time then looked at Toby. "I'm… I'm gonna miss you, Toby," I told him. He took a deep breath, then hugged me again.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Cowgirl," Toby admitted. "You know, I think I'm gonna start calling you that again. Just cause it annoys you."

"We're having a moment here," I spat, sarcastically. "Don't ruin it." Toby chuckled and pulled away.

"Well…" I continued, hoisting my backpack back up on my shoulder and sighed. "I guess I'll be seeing you." Toby nodded.

"I guess. See ya, Cowgirl."

"See ya," I said sadly and walked towards the gates. A few seconds later when I got to the end of the line, I heard him shout.

"Wait a sec!" he called, his hands cupped over his mouth. I turned around as he went on. "Isn't this the part where you realize how much you care about me then come running back and hug and kiss me and stay here?" I laughed at his dumb movie references.

"In your dreams, Butler!" I shouted back. I heard him laugh. I waved. He waved back. We stay up all night laughing at sappy movies on Valentine's Day every year. That always happened in the end of them.

Well, Mama was right about one thing… those nights didn't last either.

_Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by a TV light  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive  
We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't wanna go home to another fight  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive. _

Ever since the plane landed in LA I had been anticipating the day that I returned home. My real home; in Missouri. That's all I waited for. That's all that kept me alive and breathing.

I knew I'd go back someday. Nellie couldn't keep me away from Toby for forever.

And the day finally came, two years later.

"Kacy, come down here for a second!" I moaned. My project for homeroom was never gonna get done. It was actually due a week ago, but since I'm dyslexic and in special ed Ms. Frasier gave me an extra week. Little did I know, I wasn't gonna need it. I put down my pencil and trotted down the stairs.

"What?" I asked. Nellie, who was sitting on the couch, just took a deep breath.

"I'm just gonna come out and say it." She showed me her left hand and the diamond on her ring finger. "I'm getting married!" she exclaimed and grinned. My expression didn't change.

"Good for you," I congratulated monotonously. She sighed.

"But there's a catch, and I think it's something you might enjoy." I huffed and crossed my arms. "My fiancée, Brian, is on a business trip. He's going back to Missouri this weekend."

"So how can you get married if you're on one side of the country and he's on the other?" I asked. "Doesn't that make a little of a conflict?"

"That's the thing." I looked at her strangely. "We're moving back to Missouri."

Toby was informed and my things were packed in a span of two hours.

_Those nights belong to us  
There's nothing wrong…_


End file.
